The problem with “positivity” victim blaming
Perhaps its that I am over 55 now and have been involved in a lot of groups in the past three decades as an adult. Yes, maybe this is the issue. I remember the day long ago when I was given as a gift the “power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale when I was in junior high. I read through it and it told me again and again all I had to do was think better to change my life.
Because yes, everything bad IS my fault. Of course it is.
Many years later this book is still circling back with many variations of it’s victim blaming, victim bullying credos. Think better, do better be more more more! (Wait didn’t I perform a poem about this ?) If your life is terrible? IT IS YOUR FAULT because you can’t think yourself out of it.
Some might read this and think I really have no clue because they DO have a clue. They’ve read all the books, they walk the walk and are on the happy happy chirpy all the day long train.
This is NOT mental health. It is NOT emotional health.
It’s a sad day for me to be involved in groups where someone invariably tosses in the ‘let’s keep it positive today!”. It means no one can talk real talk. They can’t talk about the funeral they are going to tomorrow, I can’t share anything about my day to day change dues to a relapse from Multiple Sclerosis and another person can’t talk about their struggle to get out of the house today.
I know it ‘feels’ so much better when things are happy happy chirpy all the day long. But to knock down others because they are not on your happy happy chirpy all the day long train? To try and manipulate via ‘positive thinking’ only? Oh well to hell with that! I’m out.
I am an artist. Pure, simple. It is the core of who I am. This woman is an artist who creates, who writes stories, blogs, and writes/performs poetry. I create perceptual erotica and deal with men and women who believe I am a porn artist. Plus I deal with the invariable ‘fan’ who attempts to pursue because of the aforementioned belief I am a porn artist and therefore sexually ‘free. (Surprise! I practice extreme celibacy going on seven years now) Artists are traditionally creative, emotional people who are driven to create. Some of the best artwork in the world has come from deep emotional places which are NOT the ‘happy happy chirpy all the day long train”
This, to me, is an attempt at censorship of artists via the ‘positive thoughts and words’ only.
#artUNcensored to me is artwork which is not censored, not driven by anyone but the inner me which creates the work I do. It’s about not attempting to ‘fit in’ at all.
I’m so not gonna fit in your peghole so please stop attempting to micromanage me into it.