A Perception Series, “When No Doesn’t Mean Not Yet”

    No. It seems a fairly simple word. No means no. Yet, in the real world it’s seen as really meaning ‘not yet’. In time you will say yes. If I wear you down with attention and if I push my ideas onto you then you will say yes in the very near future. Possibly even the same night.     No means no. 

    Why is this a word which causes such consternation and upset? It is as if the person pushing becomes a predator whose intent is to get what they believe they want no matter what. I really don’t have to explain the word no. But I will. Here is the dictionary definition: “used to indicate something quite the opposite.” What?! Really? It is an oppositional word. You say ‘yes’, I say ‘no’ we are in opposition. There is no moment of coming to the agreement of ‘yes’. 

    I have a date in mind. No not that kind of date, a calendar date for when the state of celibacy is over. Well, once this was shared with one person? It became other’s knowledge and it is as if it now is a competition for who will cause the ‘no to mean yes’. No means not gonna happen and maybe even when the date approaches it will still mean a resounding ‘no’. 

    The thought of all this causes the ever present hilarity bubble inside me to surge up and spill over. I laugh and inside really I want to cry. Sometimes I think it’s the opposites all hidden away inside of me. I want to cry and yet I laugh or worse rage with anger. Fleeting usually but rage it is. Used to I could get lost in the feeling of hitting the bag over and over and over until it spilled out in it’s entirety this rage. Now, it is sadness, tears which want to spill over and yet physically cannot. Now the awareness of the tears is there, no confusion there. They simply never get shed.

    No means no.

    Why does the thought of this cause me to want to cry? Is it because far too many times there have still been moments of my words being unaccepted? My words did not have meaning at all to the person pushing for the yes. Isn’t there a book called something like ‘how to get to yes?’ 

    Now I walk away after no. I do not have emotional attachement anymore to the word no or even yes. It’s merely a word said which should be accepted.

    So why is this so hard for those who hear the two letter word, ‘no’?

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