Perception Series; “Erotica in a Celibacy State” 

         Erotica. It’s a fraught filled word. A misunderstood word which seems to cause a lot of consternation when it is read or said out loud. It’s funny really. I have a license plate which is framed with the words; “A well behaved woman seldom makes history.” I was kind of, well you could say, brought up with those words. It was never about ‘misbehaving’ but more about pushing the envelope.          Erotica definitely pushes the envelope. I’ve been told, after handing someone my business card which clearly stated ‘erotica artist’ on it, “Oh I think we’re not the right place for you.” Personally I find this rather hurtful because it tells me in no uncertain words they have passed judgement upon me when they read those words. Others would say “just leave out the word then!” I’m not changing a word on my business card simply because it makes someone else uncomfortable. 

         Plus I’m not trying to make someone change their views. If they don’t want to do business with me, fine then. I can take my business elsewhere. It may not be a lot of business now but the future is coming and this will change. Do I keep track of those things? Yes. I do. I remember them, the upturned nose, or grimace upon reading the word. Or how the previously friendly person is suddenly rude to me and telling me about a place which would better ‘suit’ me. 

         See the judgements made are about something they know nothing about. Erotica is about the art viewed and the viewers interpretation of said art. Sensuality is the key and the question to be asked becomes where is the sensual nature in the art? It’s not porn and what if it were? Shoot, porn is big business, big big business. But no it’s not porn. And me? I am NOT a former porn star, or formerly involved in porn. The one is not the same as the other. 

         I’m into my 7th year of celibacy. Umm, yes you read this correctly. Celibacy. And I create erotica. Why would this be a surprise? Yes I still interact with the opposite sex and the same sex. Interact, talk with them, flirt with them and draw them, yes naked, sometimes too. It’s really not as big deal as you’d think. However that said the other part of this has to be said too. 

         I don’t write erotica, I’m not into ‘exchanging erotica’ because I’m not into giving my art away for free unless it’s for charity and will do good for others. My CPTSD is not associated with sex trafficking, it is associated with terrorism. So there you go, none of it is what you thought, right?

         Returning into the whole idea behind erotica is it is seen as sensual in nature. It causes a response in the viewer and depending upon the viewer’s upbringing or beliefs it can be a pleasant or disturbing experience. Maybe it’s exciting or arousing. This is what makes it all rather wonderful. It’s a different response for each viewer of the art. 

         Just please…please don’t toss the myth of the ‘free sexual nature of a female artist’ upon me because you’d be totally out of line and it actually offends me to have this myth pointed my way. Not all females, in fact a quite small percentage of them are ‘those’ type of artists. Even if I was ‘that way’ I’d still be offended by ‘slut shaming’ which I do not believe in. 

         Women have the right to own their sexuality and to express it while also NOT being shamed for it. So simply stop the ridiculous purposeful misunderstanding of what being an artist of erotica is. It’s really not that difficult. 


One thought on “Perception Series; “Erotica in a Celibacy State” 

  1. Ah, so eloquently put. For me, your comment “Erotica is about the art viewed and the viewers interpretation of said art” explains Erotica perfectly. As for who you are and why you do what you do, rock on and be free. I love Erotica because of its possibilities, not its eventualities. Erotica, for me, is a state of mind that generates thoughts and possibly actions. But Erotica certainly brings about strong REACTIONS in me. It is a fine art if done deftly in words, or in art.

    Liked by 1 person

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