Day 8 of September, “Year Nine” 

Day 8 of September, “Year Nine”
The Hope Within the Storm Collection

Of the PTSD Poetry Project 2016

PTSD Poetry Project 2017 Information

Day 19 of 22

“Year Nine”

My body had healed

Documented healing

Code continued to be written down

In secret small notebooks

Of all things

Day to day things

The cypher hidden away

Then the unthinkable happened

An obsessed man

A years on end stalker

Found me

Found where I lived

Threatened me

Threatened my life

Threatened my children’s lives

New blood work showed serious issues

Issues needing a specialist

Treatment which would take

Until the end of my life

Five months in

Body thrown forward

One and a half times

My body length

Twisting, turning

To hit me on the opposite side of my head

Knocking me out

I refused assistance

I refused help

Was told I must be okay

Or I’d have been dead 24 hours later

After all I must be okay

Memories of the previous five to seven years

Had disappeared into a mist

My face showed the damage

With a facial droop

Yet no one wanted to face

The fact

I was damaged inside my head

Until many, many months later

My nose had been broken

A tooth cracked on the same side

I hit so hard

No one wanted to know

I was not okay

I’d forgotten the previous years

Fear consumed me

I had no idea why

I could not remember anything

I would not leave the house

Crying and screaming instead

In order to not leave

I knew it was not safe

I had no idea why

Until I found the journals

I read them over and over

Trying to retain the information

I’d been stalked

I’d been threatened

I’d had the police involved

Then nothing

The next three years

I stayed inside the house

Until appointments forced me to leave

Searching through my room

In an effort to find something else

I found the card I’d been given

Quite some time before

A number I called

Because I knew

Without a doubt

I needed help

Because I knew

This was the last time

I would reach out

In my efforts to grieve

In my efforts to share

In my effort to let it all go

In my effort to finally move on

I held the card

I made the call

I waited until

I was in the room

Across from the quiet

Self possessed man

Who would allow me

To finally work my way

Back to myself

I sat across from him

For nine months time

Until I began sharing

All the unmentionable secrets

Until I finally took a deep breath

And began to grieve


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