Day 31 of 31 Days in August, “Year One”

Day 31 of 31 Days in August
Day 11 of 22

The Hope Within The Storm Collection of the PTSD Poetry Project 2016



“Year One”



Coffee

I need coffee

I cannot get through this day

Without coffee

A lot of coffee

I strip off my nightgown

Stand before my mirrors

I see how very low

My weight has gotten

I can see my ribs

Showing under my skin

When I turn to see my back

Coffee

I need coffee

To get through this day

I lay out my clothes

Semi uniform in style

I wrap myself in my old bathrobe

Walk into the kitchen

Make coffee

Look in the fridge

Look at the eggs

Get a single one out

I scramble it

While coffee makes

Tears fill my eyes

I feel hollow inside

Yet I have to get through my day

The kids will be up soon

I must be ready

To face them again

I eat slowly

Looking out the patio door

Then I get into the shower

Quickly wash off

Quickly dry off

Wrapping up again

I go into the kitchen

Go to my room

A large mug of coffee in hand

Prepare myself

Put on my mask of make up

Practice smiling yet again

I sit on the bed

To tie my bootlaces

Tears fill my eyes again

I look up at the ceiling

Pray to get through yet another day

Blink hard over and over

Until the tears subside

I can do this

I can get through another day

Coffee

I need a lot of coffee

I can get through this first year

I only need coffee

A lot of coffee



***


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