Day 30 of 31 Days in July, “Impossibility Called Perfection”

Day 30 of 31 Days in July
The TBI Collection of the PTSD Project


“Impossibility Called Perfection”

Light brings weird light

The world seems flat

I stare out the window

The storm is coming again

I think about other things

The land of broken toys

This place of imperfection

In a world striving for perfection

I find value in the land of broken toys

Flaws create value

Uniqueness within imperfection

Is what I seek to find

What I seek to see

The beauty of the flaw

Is key to value

The hidden brought to light

Those who strive only for perfection

Chase after a lie

Told to them for generations

To be perfect

Is a mist filled lie

It has no substance

No structure

There is no such thing

Perfection is an impossibility

All that exists is

The beauty of imperfection


**


July 30, 2016

Personal journal

      The light this morning is a strange color as if it’s shining through a yellow filter. It’s the day after the rain, the thunder and the electrical fire causing the 15 hour outage. I stand at the window looking at the backyard in this weird yellow filtered light. It makes everything seem very flat as if it is the moment before a tornado. Often the rain, the hail will stop right before the tornado passes and the light gets this same strange look.

      This morning I think about a friend’s words about the ‘land of broken toys’. It’s funny because I’d always resonated with those scenes in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer movie. Perhaps it is because of this I always chose the imperfect toys, ones with some flaw instead of looking for perfection. Those were always the unique ones which had more value to me. I’d read about coins printed doubled sided and how this imperfection cause them to have so much more value. This only further fueled the idea that imperfection is where it is at.

       Now, as I look outside at the yellow filtered light, I think about how the ‘world’ is in this constant striving for perfection in the land of broken toys. I am imperfect and it always bothers me when someone will say I am “perfect”. It’s confusing as I don’t see the perfection and what is perfection anyway? I guess everyone has their own idea of what this word means. The dictionary says “a person or thing perceived as the embodiment of perfection. ..The quality of being free of all flaws and imperfections or defects.”

      Free of all flaws and imperfections? I’m absolutely not even close. In fact I’m so far away from this states of affairs I can’t even squint my eyes to see that thing called ‘perfection’. It’s never been my destination, this thing called perfection. I simply don’t feel a need for perfection and I think it’s really pretty ridiculous actually.

       Why strive for something which is impossible?

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