Day 21 of 30 Days in June, PTSD Poetry Project
Poetry created from public, private, and personal journals about a life with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury and Multiple Sclerosis.
“PTSD Growth IS Possible”
We become caught in the net of this word
These becomes the titles
Titles with which we are introduced
Growth seems out of reach
Growth is not comfortable
I had to want it
I had to need it
It was a weight holding me down
I didn’t like it
I hated it
I didn’t want to do it
This growth is..uncomfortable to me
Eventually I became less ashamed of growth
I became ashamed of NOT growing
I came to feel the need to grow
Reexamination became my new ‘normal’
I had to understand in order to begin
To do this?
To create a life once again with meaning
With love, with truths said out loud
Had to be said in a safe place
Relief to find this exact moment
Where I heard the words
“I am NOT afraid to hear what you have to tell”
This moment changed everything
My life has again become filled with meaning
My life has again to become one of growth
My life is once again in my hands
I gathered up the reins
To finally solidly sit the seat in the saddle
Of my own life
One filled with a new term
It IS possible
It IS within your grasp
You merely have to want
You merely have to be willing to do the work
“PTSD: GROWTH, is it possible?”
Posted by Bree N. on May 13, 2014
In therapy this past week I heard (and asked permission to share the term) about PTSD Growth. It’s a thought provoking concept to say the least. We all get so caught up in the “stigma” of this title of PTSD. Disorder, Disease, incurable, we hear this all the time. But what about GROWTH? Is it possible? Many would say no. All there ever is in the news are items about PTSD and some terrible result of this ‘disorder/disease’.
A disease is curable, a disorder? Hmmm.. some more thought needed on that word. But growth, moving out from under this pressing weight is so very possible. It’s not by any means an easy or comfortable process. But it is very much within our grasp, and here’s the kicker.. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT—not just NEED IT.
Growth comes from wanting something so badly, knowing you need it, need the help, are not ashamed to ask for it and be extremely willing to do the work. To reexamine the events set into motion within your particular ‘brand’ of PTSD and none of this is an easy process. Then comes the tough part. Creating a life of value, a life with meaning, while living with what happened, processing it, embracing yourself, saying it out loud within a safe place to the right safe person.
The most amazing moment for me in my path I am on was hearing the words, “I am NOT afraid to hear what you have to tell”. It was a life changing moment for me. I knew then, it would take a lot of bravery on my part to say it all out loud. It’s scary beyond belief, but I am willing to do the work. The right medical person, the right insurance, the right everything put it all into a place of safety. After holding onto a mere thread waiting, waiting, waiting, it finally fell together so I do the work so I can let go and live my life again.