Day 21 of 30 Days in June, “PTSD Growth IS Possible”

Day 21 of 30 Days in June, PTSD Poetry Project
Poetry created from public, private, and personal journals about a life with PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury and Multiple Sclerosis.

“PTSD Growth IS Possible”

Stigma

We become caught in the net of this word

Disorder

Disease

Incurable

These becomes the titles

Titles with which we are introduced

Growth seems out of reach

Growth seems…Impossible

Growth is not comfortable

Growth

I had to want it

I had to need it

It was a weight holding me down

I didn’t like it

I hated it

I didn’t want to do it

This growth is..uncomfortable to me

Eventually I became less ashamed of growth

I became ashamed of NOT growing

I came to feel the need to grow

Reexamination became my new ‘normal’

I had to understand in order to begin

To do this?

To create a life once again with meaning

With love, with truths said out loud

Had to be said in a safe place

Relief to find this exact moment

Where I heard the words

“I am NOT afraid to hear what you have to tell”

This moment changed everything

My life has again become filled with meaning

My life has again to become one of growth

My life is once again in my hands

I gathered up the reins

To finally solidly sit the seat in the saddle

Of my own life

One filled with a new term

PTSD Growth

It IS possible

It IS within your grasp

You merely have to want

You merely have to be willing to do the work

*************

“PTSD: GROWTH, is it possible?”

    Posted by Bree N. on May 13, 2014
(USFRA.org)

     In therapy this past week I heard (and asked permission to share the term) about PTSD Growth. It’s a thought provoking concept to say the least. We all get so caught up in the “stigma” of this title of PTSD. Disorder, Disease, incurable, we hear this all the time. But what about GROWTH? Is it possible? Many would say no. All there ever is in the news are items about PTSD and some terrible result of this ‘disorder/disease’. 

     A disease is curable, a disorder? Hmmm.. some more thought needed on that word. But growth, moving out from under this pressing weight is so very possible. It’s not by any means an easy or comfortable process. But it is very much within our grasp, and here’s the kicker.. YOU HAVE TO WANT IT—not just NEED IT. 

     Growth comes from wanting something so badly, knowing you need it, need the help, are not ashamed to ask for it and be extremely willing to do the work. To reexamine the events set into motion within your particular ‘brand’ of PTSD and none of this is an easy process. Then comes the tough part. Creating a life of value, a life with meaning, while living with what happened, processing it, embracing yourself, saying it out loud within a safe place to the right safe person. 

     
The most amazing moment for me in my path I am on was hearing the words, “I am NOT afraid to hear what you have to tell”. It was a life changing moment for me. I knew then, it would take a lot of bravery on my part to say it all out loud. It’s scary beyond belief, but I am willing to do the work. The right medical person, the right insurance, the right everything put it all into a place of safety. After holding onto a mere thread waiting, waiting, waiting, it finally fell together so I do the work so I can let go and live my life again. 

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