Day 10 of 30 Days in June “The Hurt of Brokenness”

Day 10 of 30 Days in June for PTSD Awareness
PTSD Poetry Project, Poetry created from blog posts from 2013- present

“The Hurt of Brokenness”

Morning light awakens me once again

I breathe in and realization slams into me

I am broken

Inside

Outside

I am broken intimately, emotionally

How will I ever feel whole?

How will I ever feel strong?

I was a treasured gift

Complete in it’s beautiful complexity

Now there is not enough glue to fix me

The cracks are extensive

Pieces are missing

I will never be repaired

It now hurts to breathe

Tears stream down my face

Well meaning words echo in my mind

“Dig deep, you can do this…

You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known”

I don’t want to be strong

I can’t do this

It is too hard

I am no longer pretty or whole

Tears turn into sobs

The pieces are all around me

Some I cannot bear to see

Some I wish to never pick up

Some cause me to turn away from the sight of them

Not today

Maybe another day

There is always tomorrow

Maybe tomorrow will be the day

Maybe ..maybe tomorrow

 I will begin to pick up the pieces

*****************

“It hurts to feel so broken”

    Posted by Bree N. on February 3, 2014

   

      I woke up this morning with the realization i am just so broken. Inside, outside, intimately, emotionally. How can I ever feel whole and strong again? Its like when you break a treasured gift and there is not enough glue to repair it, make it right. The pieces are so small you can’t glue it together without some missing. It’s not whole or pretty anymore.

     I’m tired of “digging deep, being strong, you can do it, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known”.. I’m totally broken, pieces all around me, some I can’t even bear to look at, much less pick up. Not today, there is always another tomorrow. One small step, one small piece at a time.

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