Day 2 of 30 days In June, PTSD Poetry Project: “The Day It All Changed, A TBI Poem”

My body was thrown forward 

My head slammed against the doorway

My entire life changed

And I remembered nothing

My brain is on fire

A fire I am unable to extinguish

It hurts and I cannot cry

Everything is gone

Some days

Even the names of my children escape me

I go into a room and do not recognize it

I look at books I used to read

Ones I used to read voraciously

Now they sit there accusing me with their spines

I pass a mirror and see the stranger again

She is always there

Don’t recognize her

Don’t remember her

Who is she?

Keep silent!

Don’t tell anyone

They mustn’t know

The night falls

 I sit huddled on my bed again

Will I make it through this night?

Can I make it through this night?

The light begins to warm up behind the curtains

Has the night ended already?

No sense of time passing anymore

The day

The hour

It is all the same

I live inside my hurting head

This place filled with such loneliness

One morning daylight shines awakening me

I have finally slept

For a fleeting second I know what day it is

I stretch

I wake

I walk to the mirror

I stare deep into her eyes

I remember you

I want to accept you

Like I used to do

I want to be happy in the moments again

I want to love you again

I remember

The name you were born with

A name I had forgotten

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