Pretend to be Okay (PTSD Poetry Project)

I carefully put on my mask

The one all women put on

I hide from the world

My pain

My hurt

My loneliness

My embarrassment

Softly I stroke the brush across my face

I pat on make up to cover all the marks left behind

My fear wells up for a moment

I want to stop

Stop hiding

Stop pretending

To be okay

When I am not

Deep breathe, smile in the mirror

I stare into my eyes, those eyes

Always the ‘girl with the eyes’

The eyes which see so deep it hurts

Breathe again, just breathe

I can get through another day

I will be okay

I have to be okay

My wings have been scorched yet again

The scent of burnt feathers fills my nostrils

I flew too close to the sun

But this time

I did not die

The current lifted me too high in the sky

Freed me to fly even higher

Until I was reminded

I am not free

I am nothing

I am small

I am at the whim of those wishing to clip my wings

To burn those feathers which allow me to fly free

The tethers around my ankles remind me

To put on my mask yet again today

And pretend

i aM oKaY.


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